God My Mother

A few years ago I was reflecting on motherhood. Or more accurately my own mothering. It was painful as I faced the reality of my less-than-perfect attempts to raise three sons. I knew they carried the wounds and scars of my humanity and I prayed they would navigate life in such a way to find healing through the mercy and grace of God as I had. I promised myself that if they ever were in town together on Mother’s Day, I would take THEM out for dinner to celebrate the fact they survived my motherhood.

My three sons. My amazing, gifted, loving three sons. Now they are all married to strong, gifted, incredible women and they are raising their own children with the grace and mercy I wished I had displayed more often as a young mother.

I am deeply grateful. I am humbled. I am awed by God’s gift of my family.

But it was not always how I felt many years ago when I had no clue what being a mother meant. As a young teen my babysitting career ended after my first job. I had fallen asleep after the kids were in bed and the unreasonable parents were furious with me. I never babysat again. Nor did I ever volunteer in a church’s nursery or children’s department.

I never had dreams of being of a mother.

Until I woke up with three sons under the age of 3. Literally woke up. Three C-sections in three years. Their arrivals were not quite part of my overall plan. My plan was to build our home, pay off the mortgage and then start a family.

Instead we moved into our unfinished house a couple of weeks before our first son was born. The boys were teenagers before the last detail of the house was completed. And they were out of the house and married before we made our last mortgage payment.

Nothing worked out the way I had planned. Of course in hindsight everything worked out much better. However it involved living what seemed at times to be a bad dream.

The first five years of surviving babies are a blur in my memory bank (I didn’t have a single full night’s sleep during those years). The toddler-preschool stage was a nightmare because the boys were out of control, or more accurately, I was out of control. Then God called me to homeschool them through junior high. (Seriously God?!) It was really rough when they entered high school.

Thankfully God gave me a husband who was one of 12 children. He knew how to change diapers, loved playing and wrestling with the boys, taught them how to drive and basically, stayed calm while I nearly went insane.

But then an amazing thing happened as each left home. I began to have hope that indeed we would all survive my motherhood. And we did.

For all the potholes I describe above there were more often stretches of laughter at funny antics, adventures on camping trips, evenings of family devotions and Jon’s storytelling, celebrations of achievements and many other moments of togetherness.

I look back in awe of God’s wisdom and mercy. The road through motherhood was pretty rough for me but it shaped me in profound ways.

I have been transformed through motherhood, even “saved.” Being a mother has taught me more about God than any other life experience and has been the most powerful context for “working out my salvation” (Philippians 2:12).

I think I get a sense of what the Apostle Paul means in 1 Timothy 2:15, one of the most perplexing verses in the Bible for women.

But women will be saved through childbearing—if they continue in faith, love and holiness with propriety.

When my third son was born I was in a spiritual pit, not sure whether I was still a Christian or if God existed. A motherhood crisis was coinciding with a faith crisis. It turned out that as I struggled to respond to the cries of my babies, God responded to the cries of my heart. And he saved me. He met me in the pit and restored faith.

Since the years that followed my faith rebirth, I read my own story into that verse and I see how childbearing has helped save me from myself. My anger. My efforts to control my life and others. My selfishness. My discontent. Childbearing helped me to find my heart and it led my heart straight to Christ who mothered me through motherhood.

I know that Mother’s Day is a day for children to celebrate their mothers. Some can do this more than others. Many have mothers who were absent or inflicted great damage. Others have no children with whom to celebrate. But we all have a perfect Father who is also a perfect Mother, One who answers our cries, nourishes our souls and walks us through life. Where I have failed as a mother, God will be to my children.

Happy Mother’s Day, God.

The Deaf-Mute In All of Us

People have often asked me what it’s like to grow up with a deaf-mute mother. Before she came to live with me after my father passed away I would respond with a puzzled look and say something like, “Uh, I never thought much about it.” Seriously. Then I’d try to lighten the awkward moment by telling the inquirer what an advantage I had as a teenager. I could say whatever I wanted and my mom would never hear it.

On the serious side, communicating with my mother is very difficult, often frustrating. She doesn’t read lips. In fact she doesn’t read at all since she never had an education. My father made up a sign language for our family that is much like charades. If you have played the game you know how difficult it is to be understood. Concrete words are not easy. Abstract ones are nearly impossible without a common point of reference.

When I left home, I slowly came to realize that my growing up years were anything but normal. It wasn't until my mother came to live with me that I began to understand how her silent, unhearing presence impacted me in profound ways.

I have never had a deep “conversation” with my mother. In our relationship, I am as deaf and mute to her as she is to me. Now that she has lived with me for the past 15 years I am painfully aware that loneliness and isolation is her normal. I grieve for her inability to connect with the world in meaningful ways.

Lately I’ve come to the conclusion that life with a deaf mother in some ways is not all that different from life with normal hearing people.

Occasionally I run into people who hear my words but act deaf. I have conversations with people and I can tell I have not been heard. When I have something important to say I am treated in such a way that makes me feel like they wish I came with a remote and a mute button. Attempts at dialogue end up being a game of charades with large amounts of emotional energy expended to make limited points of connection.

Being deaf or mute doesn’t have to have a physical cause. It can be a state of the mind and heart. For the person who is trying to speak, the blank stares in response can have any number of causes.

A closed belief system. Fear. Preservation. A position of superiority or privilege. Lack of trust. Exclusion. Pride. Lack of empathy. I have been guilty of all of these and more. I know I have been deaf to the stories of others, to their attempts to connect with me.

And I have often stopped my ears to God.

This phenomenon is described in Scripture often where the loss of physical senses is a metaphor for the spiritual, emotional and mental state of a close mind and hard heart.

Psalm 135:15-18 The idols of the nations are silver and gold, made by the hands of men. They have mouths, but cannot speak, eyes, but they cannot see; they have ears, but cannot hear, nor is there breath in their mouths. Those who make them will be like them, and so will all who trust in them. 

Isaiah 6:9-10 Go and tell this people: " 'Be ever hearing, but never understanding; be ever seeing, but never perceiving.' Make the heart of this people calloused; make their ears dull and close their eyes. Otherwise they might see with their eyes, hear with their ears, understand with their hearts, and turn and be healed.

Jeremiah 6:10 To whom can I speak and give warning? Who will listen to me? Their ears are closed so they cannot hear. The word of the LORD is offensive to them; they find no pleasure in it.

In the Old Testament, the main Hebrew word for “to obey” is the same word for “to hear, listen, pay attention, perceive.” The Jews understood that deafness is the lack of deep understanding, accurate perception and immediate responsiveness. Hearing is the prerequisite to obedience and to action.

And hearing is necessary to a transformative community, a community that listens well to God and to each other.

I’ve been in a season of articulating some concerns, expressing my passions and advocating for gender reconciliation. It’s been a season of refinement, of clarity and of growth. The result has been further shaping and a deeper confidence of who I am and who God is to me as a woman. I am finding my voice and speaking up. But I know that it is not my responsibility to open deaf ears.

It’s fruitless to keep speaking to closed ears. It’s exhausting to keep participating in a “charade.” It’s time to turn my attention and energy to those who are listening and need a listening ear, to those who need encouragement to speak because they have muted themselves among the deaf.

God is shaking up the church. For those who are willing to abandon their trenches of tradition, he is unstopping ears, unmuting voices and powerfully reconciling men and women along the Way.

Isaiah 35:1-6  

The desert and the parched land will be glad; the wilderness will rejoice and blossom. Like the crocus, it will burst into bloom; it will rejoice greatly and shout for joy. The glory of Lebanon will be given to it, the splendor of Carmel and Sharon; they will see the glory of the LORD, the splendor of our God. Strengthen the feeble hands, steady the knees that give way; say to those with fearful hearts, "Be strong, do not fear; your God will come, he will come with vengeance; with divine retribution he will come to save you." Then will the eyes of the blind be opened and the ears of the deaf unstopped. Then will the lame leap like a deer, and the mute tongue shout for joy. Water will gush forth in the wilderness and streams in the desert.  

Where Is the Voice of the Evangelical Woman?

I love the story in Luke 10 where Jesus affirmed Mary’s presence at his feet rather than in the kitchen with Martha. Mary was treated as an equal among the male disciples. I imagine her participating boldly in the theological discussions ensuing from Jesus’ teachings.

But Martha was not to be outdone by her sister. In the story of her brother’s death (John 11) Martha also entered into a theological discussion with the Rabbi. She was well versed in messianic prophecy and resurrection theology and Jesus engaged her fully as he did men like Nicodemus.

The space at Jesus’ feet had no gender restrictions.

The title of this post is adapted from another post by Leslie Keeney, “Where Is the Voice of the Evangelical Academic Woman?” She asks why theologically inclined women are not participating in conversations taking place on theology blogs or academic blog tours.

Keeney offers five possible reasons:

1. Women don’t like the spotlight and shy away from self-promotion.
2. Women avoid verbal confrontation and expressions of ideas that may invite criticism.
3. Women are more comfortable in an all-female environment and avoid sharing power with men.
4. Women are fed up with the “old boys’ club” and have given up trying the change the power structure.
5. Women think about and discuss theology differently than men. Keeney implies women therefore are not understood, valued or included.

I found this list of reasons why women are not speaking up in the academia applicable to why women are not speaking up in churches, more specifically evangelical churches that limit women to certain roles.  However there are a few differences between the two arenas.

Keeney recognizes there is more freedom for women in academia to pursue studies and teaching positions where it is “theoretically a level playing field.” That is not the case for evangelical women who believe they are called to non-traditional roles in the church. Men dominate the high ground of leadership and circle wagons around the pulpit.

Also many make a distinction between church and educational institutions that teach the Bible. Therefore certain passages in Scripture like 1 Timothy 2:12 are not applied in the classroom. That distinction permits men to learn from a female professor while they resist teaching from a gifted female teacher in the church.

Lastly academic women who do not comment on blogs or participate in public theological discussions are still able to do what they have been called to do – teach and encourage discussion in their classrooms. Not true in the church. Not speaking up results in the perpetuation of traditional thinking and practices. If women do not voice their objections or challenge the system, then men, in general, will continue to dismiss or marginalize them.

I know that this is not true of all men or all churches. There are men who recognize women’s giftedness and who speak up for women, advocating for their inclusion. There are male pastors and elders who have rejected the traditional views of women and have embraced a full partnership with them. I am grateful for these men, including my husband.

But there are not enough of them. And I know there are many women who are silencing themselves.

However, lately I am hearing a rising chorus of voices. Gifted voices. Intelligent voices. Passionate voices. Female voices that do not have to sound male to be heard. Confident voices that do not shrink back when accused of not being “biblical.”

Keeney believes “there has to be a middle ground for women who are called to storm the gates with intelligence, grace, and love.” Though she is referring to women in the academia, her statement is also true for women sitting in pews.

Most of the women I know who are in the pews have these qualities but they hesitate to “storm the gates” for one main reason. They lack the confidence to voice their objections to hierarchical structures because they have not been encouraged to learn theology or to engage in theological discussions. Many do not know there are alternative readings of Scripture that allow more freedom for women than what has been granted in male dominated leadership. In order to challenge the traditional structures, an increasing number of women are realizing the need to study what Scripture has to say about their place in the church.

There is a woman in Portland who is committed to equipping women to speak up. Her name is Pam Hogeweide, the author of Unladylike: Resisting the Injustice of Inequality in the Church.  She hosts  “theology camps” where women can learn what the Bible has to say to them. Pam is taking a proactive role in helping women find their voices.  What would happen if theology camps for women popped up across the nation? I believe increasingly informed female voices will make a significant difference in the church.

So I say to evangelical women in the church…

1. Speaking up and declaring what you believe God has given you in terms of gifting and calling is not self-promotion. It is obedience to Christ.
2. Offering a different perspective and idea or confronting hurtful attitudes is not criticism. It is speaking the truth in love. 
3. Sharing power with men or partnering with them in kingdom work is not creating sexual temptation or weak men. It is fulfilling the mandate of Genesis 1:27-28 to rule together as co-image bearers of God.
4. Challenging the power structure or old boys’ club is not rebellion. It is living the kingdom principle of equality and mutual submission.
5. Thinking about and discussing theology from a woman’s perspective is not heresy.  It is a deepening of our understanding of who God is and how he works.

Where is the voice of the evangelical woman? It is rising slowly above the din of debate, above the walls of exclusion.

It is a voice of intelligence, grace and love.

A Hipster Heart in a Boomer Body

Okay. Maybe not hipster. But I think you know what I mean. Even though my face and body are developing more texture, I still feel young on the inside. Translate: lots of time and energy, want to contribute to the world, love learning new things.

I love young people and I have a lot of them in my life. The ones closest to me have never made me feel old or irrelevant. They have sought me out for friendship and mentoring. And during my own seasons of insecurity or struggle, they have offered me a listening ear and words of affirmation. It's a two-way relationship.

I also love a church that is filled with young people, is fully integrating them into the life of the community and is seeking out young leaders who will replace the ones who will one day be obsolete.

Oops. I mean happily retired.

Except, is retirement from ministry something to be desired or even biblical? Is obsoleteness something the church should accept? Put another way: Will those churches which are successfully engaging the youth today continue to engage them as their hair turns white or falls out?

Being young certainly has its advantages. In today’s culture youth is idolized. But there are also huge advantages to being older.

For most the difficult life decisions are now past – career and marriage (or non-marriage). There have been lessons learned on how to survive the darkest moments or crises in life and persevere with faith in Christ. If finances were wisely handled, those in retirement have the time and money to devote to ministry opportunities.

Women and men who have aged gracefully in the knowledge of Christ have gained the wisdom that comes in pursuing Him through the ups and downs of life. In a recent Oregonian article describing a new talk show premiering on Lifetime April 26 called “The Conversation With Amanda de Cadenet,” Jane Fonda remarks that knowing yourself gets easier as you get older. For the Christian, knowing oneself is intimately connected to knowing Christ and that brings a deep sense of confidence, peace and stability.

In the same article above, de Cadenet reveals that the show “came about from my own desperate need to find role models that I could relate to.” She laments further, “I just couldn’t see them anywhere.” So de Cadenet went out to find them.

Last weekend I attended a women’s ministry conference that was devoted to helping the generations find each other. There I heard two dynamic young speakers express desires to have spiritual friendships with older women. They pleaded earnestly, “We need you!” I also observed older women listening attentively to their voices in trying to understand how their churches could better include the younger generation. The willingness to cross the generational gap was a powerful force for unity, love and affirmation.

However it became clear that the conference was mostly focused on those churches that were struggling with being relevant to the youth, churches that were mostly led by older members. But that’s not a description of all churches.

There are some in which the dynamic is the complete opposite. The leadership and the congregation consist mostly of Millennials and Gen-Xers. Boomer role models are rare and places for ministry or leadership are hard for them to find.

The statistics are clear. Seniors are the fastest growing population in the world. And the church is ill equipped to minister to the wave of white-haired believers about to hit the pews and is unprepared to provide the seniors places for significant ministry. James M. Houston and Michael Parker address this issue in their book, A Vision for the Aging Church: Renewing Ministry For and By Seniors.

There are many older believers who have already deconstructed their church experiences and are on board in the core values common to progressive, young churches, especially values of relationship and mission. Many understand how to embrace the broken and accept less-than-perfect people. They have had to learn that with their own children. And there are some who can offer a kind of wisdom that sorts out what is irrelevant in today’s culture but also spares the young church from making mistakes that are common to humanity.

For those churches that claim the authority of Scripture, you can’t get more biblical than this. The older members of a community are to be honored and cared for. Reaching the youth is critical in our churches. But marginalizing or disengaging the older generation hurts the body of Christ, which includes their gifts and their voices. I believe it grieves the heart of God who more often than not waited until His appointed leaders were well past youth before they were called to enter into their most significant leadership and ministry roles.

Younger people who are currently in ministry or are preparing to enter ministry do well to consider how they would want to be treated as they age. Like death one cannot escape the aging process. I don’t think anyone imagines becoming obsolete or being put on a shelf, not when one actually has more to offer when older. Young churches would be wise to consider how they might bridge the generational gap.

The Boomers are waiting for an invitation.

What are some ways to cross the generational gap or include the older generation in the life of a faith community? If you are older, do you feel obsolete in your church? 

A Man. A Woman. Just Friends?

That's the title of an article by William Deresiewicz in which he suggests opening the closet wider to allow platonic friendships between men and women. No sex necessary. Of course Harry insisted that was impossible in the movie "When Harry Met Sally."

Not that platonic friendships don't exist today. It's just that friendships that don't end up in bed are not part of popular culture according to Dereseiwicz. After briefly tracing the history of platonic friendships, he makes this observation of our current culture:

We have trouble, in our culture, with any love that isn’t based on sex or blood. We understand romantic relationships, and we understand family, and that’s about all we seem to understand. 

We have trouble with mentorship, the asymmetric love of master and apprentice, professor and student, guide and guided; we have trouble with comradeship, the bond that comes from shared, intense work; and we have trouble with friendship, at least of the intimate kind. When we imagine those relationships, we seem to have to sexualize them.

I am fascinated by the fact that this conversation is taking place inside and outside the church. Both secular and sacred space is being made for friendships between men and women that don't have to turn sexual.

In his book Sacred Unions, Sacred Passions: Engaging the Mystery of Friendship Between Men and Women, Dan Brennan asks these questions:

What would our marriages, our friendships, our churches and our communities look like if men and women were not afraid of connecting with each other in deep ways? What if men and women could really know each other without sex getting in the way? What if we didn't have to be so afraid of our own and other's bodies that we cannot trust ourselves with them?

He believes that people can enter fully into these friendships as embodied sexual beings without becoming romantic. He goes on to suggest that deep spiritual friendships between sexes may actually decrease the number of divorces.

In an interview conducted by Kathy Escobar, Brennan states that "you cannot have reconciliation between sexes without cultivating and nurturing friendships between the sexes." This statement is important to understand especially when women are invited to the table of leadership. Equality is not necessarily achieved by making space at the table or adopting a doctrinal view of women that allows them more freedom.


Equality is experienced when space is opened in the heart and the other is invited. Misunderstanding and barriers will persist if that space is assumed to be sexual rather than sacred.

When Brennan was asked what surprised him most about his cross-gender friendships, he offered two: His friendships with women challenged him to change his views about women in ministry and they helped deepen his love for and friendship with his wife.

In March 2011 Brennan launched "the sacred friendship project," a place to share stories of cross-gender friendships. Coming up at the end of this month in Chicago will be conference, a "sacred friendship gathering" for those who want to explore and encourage a deeper communion between men and women.

So what do you think about this conversation? Agree or disagree?

Barriers, Boundaries and Beachheads

I sat in the classroom next to my husband still yawning from the 7 a.m. start time yet motivated to be at church because the topic was important to me – mentoring.

It turned out to be one of the strangest classroom experiences I’ve ever had.

From the beginning the women, outnumbered three to one, were invisible. The conversations were directed toward the men and the illustrations were about men. Though the content was really good and gender-neutral, when the teacher laid out the strategy for establishing mentoring relationships, he only addressed the men. When I heard the strategy, I groaned. I knew it would not work. Women had been exploring mentoring programs for decades and his basic idea had been tried before. And failed.

After class I approached the teacher and shared the history of mentoring within women’s ministries along with my past efforts to implement programs in previous churches. I asked him to reconsider their plan based on women’s experiences. There was no further discussion or any invitation to help shape what they hoped to initiate among men in the church. I did not understand why any discussion and planning taking place did not include both male and female leaders at the same table. It seemed to me that sharing decades of women’s experiences would save the men a lot of unnecessary failure or frustration.

Ever since then I have been critical of gendered discussions and ministries that create unnecessary and unhealthy barriers to the Blessed Alliance.

Recently a woman from United Kingdom commented in response to my post “My Vision for Gender Reconciliation.” She is alarmed at the growing influence of the American conservative evangelicals and their impact on church life in the UK. In particular she is concerned with the growing trend to separate the women from the men at leadership conferences or plan women only and men only retreats.

In fact what she perceives is that male leaders are encouraging the exclusion and seclusion of women from conversations as if the issues of women are different from the men. However when she goes to the women-only workshops, the topics apply to both genders and the separation seems to not be necessary. In fact she is alarmed at the growing exclusion of women from the general leadership of the church.

As I consider gender reconciliation I believe the practice of dividing men and women in the church is overdone and exacerbates the misunderstanding and mistrust between them.

Men’s and women’s ministries and separate retreats or conferences have been a part of the American church landscape for many years. However in more recent years I am hearing a rumbling in the church, a questioning of practices that are not relevant to the younger generation and a suspicion of underlying attitudes and belief systems that have supported these practices. It’s time to do some critical thinking and re-evaluation.

We need to evaluate practices in American evangelical churches and refrain from exporting damaging practices to other cultures. I’d like to suggest three questions as we consider how to promote the Blessed Alliance, a life-giving, transformative partnership between men and women in the Kingdom.

1. What are the barriers that need to be removed?
2. What boundaries are appropriate to keep?
3. What beachheads need to be established to move forward with the Blessed Alliance?

Barriers

Walls dominate the American evangelical church landscape. The task of dismantling them will not be easy.

First on my list are those barriers that separate women from the men and result in the inefficient use of resources, limit the expression of diverse gifts and perpetuate misunderstanding and stereotypes. Gender diversity offers a wider range of perspectives, wisdom, and creativity. It also promotes a deeper sense of unity because women and men are partnering to do the work of the Kingdom.

I know that removing barriers actually makes things a bit messy and requires more work. There’s certainly more potential for conflicts. But I see conflicts as opportunities to love and understand others more deeply, to experience more gospel-centered relationships and to grow in grace and compassion.

There’s certainly the danger of inappropriate sexual attraction. But I believe it’s possible to have cross-gender friendships without sexualizing them. Lusts, like any other sin, can be controlled and overcome through the Spirit’s transformative work. Barriers won’t protect us from sinning anyway. If anything they intensify the sins. It’s easier to indulge in pornography behind the barriers than to actually face a man or woman in community where non-sexual friendships can be encouraged under the watchful eyes of godly shepherds who also can spot the “lustful eyes” (Matthew 5:28).

In her recent blog post titled “alongside” Kathy Escobar wrote this: 

There is so much we can’t learn when we’re always segregated, relegated only to be above or below one another, or full of fear. I wish more men and women would bravely dive into the deep end of learning how to live alongside each other as leaders, brothers & sisters, and friends.

Christ came to establish a profoundly redemptive community committed to walking together “with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing tolerance for one another in love, being diligent to preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace (Ephesians 5:2-3).”

Why do we have barriers in America? These are the two main reasons I get from men in the church:

Men have no control over their sexual impulses when around women. So women can’t be in the same room with them. Or at least prop the door open.

Men have all control in hierarchical structures and authoritative roles of leadership in the church. So women are not needed at the table. Except to lay out the coffee and donuts or take notes.

I can’t quite figure out if men see themselves as weak or as strong. Either way the barriers go up and women are excluded.

Removing barriers means combining resources, pooling ideas and encouraging cross-gender communication. It means a commitment to cross-gender friendships within a community that will work hard against the cultural pressures to sexualize them. Removing barriers means recognizing the presence and work of the Spirit through all the voices of the community so that a woman can speak into the life of a man and a man can speak into the life of a woman with words of reconciliation, healing and affirmation.

Removing barriers will create a new culture within the church where unity and love is a visible and felt reality. The church becomes a witness to a world that wants to belong to such a reality.

Boundaries

I define healthy boundaries as agreed upon lines of demarcation that allow a subset of a community to experience a deeper level of relationship or healing.

Examples include:

•         A single mom’s group seeking encouragement and affirmation.
•         Women who have suffered abuse from men.
•         Men seeking freedom from sex addiction.

Each person’s journey is unique and is marked by seasons of life that can be wonderful or difficult, joyful or painful, healing or damaging. Small communities of identification and solidarity have their place within the larger community of faith but they must be created with care and understood within the larger framework of unity and love.

The boundaries of safety or solidarity must not turn into barriers that keep individuals from intersecting with other members of the community. The healing will be more complete if a woman who fled abuse can someday receive friendship and care from a godly, tender man. Men rally around the single mom and offer practical help around the house or spend time with her children who need spiritual fathers. Those who are gaining freedom from pornography find friendship with the opposite gender in ways that are meaningful and not objectifying.

Boundaries are not barriers. They are lines in the sand that can be erased by the surf when safety is no longer needed, when the seasons change or when healing has happened.

Beachheads

Definition: the beginning point of an assault to capture enemy territory; the initial position or foothold gained that opens the way for further advancement and development.

In American evangelical churches the debate is reigniting concerning women in leadership and ministry. But there has been a significant shift in this debate. Whereas in the past the battle lines were drawn between the conservative and liberal interpretations of the Bible, the current debate is found inside the conservative evangelical camp.

Well-known, respected evangelical scholars are advocating for gender equality in all spheres of the church. Patriarchal and hierarchical structures of leadership are not only seriously questioned but also abandoned in some churches. The number is slowly growing.

A beachhead has been established.

Women are gaining a foothold in seminaries and churches. But the transition to this new understanding of the Blessed Alliance is terribly painful and slow. For now large numbers of women are leaving evangelical churches that refuse to remove the barriers. However these women are having difficulty finding a community that welcomes their voices and their gifts, especially leadership, teaching and preaching. Furthermore Jim Henderson in his book, The Resignation of Eve, identifies other women who have not left physically but have left emotionally and are no longer volunteers or voices in the church.

Additionally the advancement of the Blessed Alliance is stirring up a resistance movement, a push back from conservative forces within evangelicalism. Like Mark Driscoll and John Piper.

As difficult as it is for evangelical women right now, I have hope. I am optimistic that the beachhead will persevere and women one day will be treated equally and will be free to enter the full spectrum of gifts and callings.

For those outside the American culture, like the woman who is watching the reverse happening – the establishment of a conservative beachhead among British evangelical churches – I would encourage your voices to rise in protest, asking for critical reflection on the nature of the changes taking place. Do not allow the leaders to build barriers, to exclude and seclude women. Pay attention to the conversations and call for dialogue that exposes wrong motives and wrong thinking. (From my understanding, British culture has a more healthy view of women. Look at the heroines in British TV or film – they don't have to be young, gorgeous or ninja fighters.)

Any movement toward greater division hurts the church and does not accomplish the reconciliation brought through Christ. The Apostle Paul understood that reconciliation with God meant reconciliation with each other. Not just Jew and Gentile. I believe Paul would have included men and women. Jesus certainly did.

For he himself is our peace, who has made the two one and has destroyed the barrier, the dividing wall of hostility, by abolishing in his flesh the law with its commandments and regulations. His purpose was to create in himself one new man out of the two, thus making peace, and in this one body to reconcile both of them to God through the cross, by which he put to death their hostility. (Ephesians 2:14-16)

The results of destroying the barrier?

For through him we both have access to the Father by one Spirit (2:18). And…in him you are being built together to become a dwelling in which God lives by his Spirit (2:22).

The Blessed Alliance is worth fighting for in order to gain the presence of God. 

The Music a Church Plays

Recently a close friend sent a link to a video from the NY Times titled "Connecting Music and Gesture." My friend suggested the video was an appropriate analogy to church leadership. I so agree and love the implications.

The metaphor of an orchestra makes more sense to me than the metaphor of a factory a certain pastor years ago used to describe his church. In his business model people were on a conveyor belt and leaders were workers who "ministered" parts so that as they came off the belt each person would be a mature, functioning member of the church, a well-defined product according to the flowchart. The factory church did not sit well with me then. It disgusts me today. In Christ’s story for his Bride, people are subjects, not objects, objects that are used rather than known and listened to.

The metaphor of an orchestra appeals to me because the people are subjects. The conductor represents the leaders of the church, and the musicians are the members. Here are some transcript excerpts from the video where Alan Gilbert of the New York Philharmonic explains the role of the conductor (highlighted sections are mine):

“There is no way to really put your finger on what makes conducting great, even what makes conducting work. Essentially what conducting is about is getting the players to play their best and to be able to use their energy and to access their point of view about the music. There is a connection between the gesture, the physical presence, the aura that a conductor can project, and what the musicians produce.”

“There are lines that exist together and relate to each other in a linear way. So there’s a basic flow that happens, but one thing I was particularly thinking about just now was bringing out different layers…I find that interesting, so it’s not just a monolithic, homogenized texture. It’s a texture that hopefully works well together, but has local features, based on how each individual line moves.”

“One of the ways to make your sound better is to make it really obvious that you’re really listening and that it really matters to you what it sounds like. That’s not actually conducting. It’s kind of embodying or representing a kind of aspiration, if you will, and it’s uncanny how that actually can make a difference. As soon as it’s apparent that your ears are open and that you’re interested and you’re following the contour of the sound, then that very contour is affected by that.”

Can you see the beauty of this analogy? My husband did. He wrote a response after watching the video that I want to share with you.

“I understand that thought, being one who appreciates a good conductor when playing in an orchestra.  The reason a conductor is needed in an orchestra is because all the musicians are playing parts that make a whole, and the parts are not their own invention--but those of a higher power, the composer.  The conductor is the interpreter who draws out those voices in the orchestra or choir and maintains the unity and coherence of the whole. 

A church operating with the leader-conductor view would see the church body as the musicians playing parts written on their hearts by the Holy Spirit.  These could be also seen as the spiritual gifts given for the working together of the church as a unified body.  The leader-conductor becomes the interpreter who draws on all those "voices" in the congregation to bring out the grand and unified sound as it was originally intended by the composer, God. 

Unfortunately, some conductors I have played for (generally in middle school years) were band-oriented conductors and knew nothing of string instruments.  As a result, when those conductors were directing the full orchestra the string instruments were rarely the focus of their attention and, as a cellist, I felt neglected.  We played our parts but knew that the conductor was semi-blind to our need for direction and if we played badly it didn't seem to matter.  I remember those times with a feeling of wanting out, wanting something more, wanting to be known.”

Jon goes on to write that he understands why certain groups struggle with their place in the church, including women who are evangelical, boomers who are progressive and youth who have uncomfortable questions. He concluded with this:

[Many] have been chosen to be neglected or relegated to limited roles rather than being known and used as God has primarily gifted them.  Perhaps the [leaders] would do well to think about re-interpreting the script and be better listeners of the congregation they feel that God has asked them to conduct.

Not just the ones who are included determine the texture of a church but also the ones who have been marginalized, whose voices have been silenced. The tapestry may look really good until you look closely at the frayed edges.


Back to our metaphor. The orchestra may sound okay to the untrained ear but to those with discernment, there is something missing. There are sections that are not playing up to their full potential because the conductor is not paying attention or is intentionally ignoring them. The full beauty of the composition is being missed when those sections are not playing the parts that were composed for them. 


And when a musician cannot play to their fullest potential, eventually they quit playing and a part of their soul dies or they find another orchestra because they must play the music in their hearts.